stability or what?
Stability has several meanings. The most common is emotional stability, emotional, and therefore, the stability of the place where we are, the stability may also apply to persons whom we surround ourselves. It simply means there is no change and a sense of safety in all aspects of life.
All these examples of stability for me are equally important. I am a person who hates change.
I believe that such behavior stems from the fact that it never really felt at home stability. I know, like a wise psychologist, but that my ailment. But back to topic .. The time in which it actually felt stabilization, a time before the separation of parents, then I missed it, but I know this only now. My mother tried to make a life again, looking for ideal and I understand it and do not blame you. But further study of potential dads-men-storm feeling of safety of each child, the hope for a new home and family is born with the knowledge of another is so upset after parting that such a small woman who is not doing a very confident and introverted. These features plus the weakened sense of low-value emerging in the course of these experiences that later, a man now as an adult is trying to make every effort to compensate for the lack of stability.
I'm just the kind of person, I shape the stability of all possible ways. Any change we perceive undermines my faith in myself, again, make me a little immature and a poor girl from the recess on the teeth. My turmoil and the wrong decisions made in relation to the previous two compounds were precisely related to the loss and desire for security. M. gave me what I needed but by the time he began to lie to me, our relationship broke up because I found his first betrayal, our paths began to diverge before, but it was the nail in the coffin of our relationship. In P. I thought I'd find support, but later I realized I wanted to just forget that I used it to M., I admit it. But I have not done this specifically, it is my only excuse. The friendship with my present The man I found everything I needed. I felt very well during this period, our long talks led to the fact that it is slowly zakochiwałam. Our friendship grew into a relationship for which we want to make sacrifices. With him I feel safe, and gave stability which is so urgently wanted, the love that makes me happy ..
Memories .. We
"Memories burn as the sun (..)"- me as she sang of Beatrice Bajmu, burn well and me. Run away from them every day and not at all because most of them are bad, rather, because I can not live with them. When you lose contact with someone I can not go back and I want to rebuild as soon as possible to forget about someone, I avoid contact, phone, SMS. Error-tell most of you. Maybe so, but otherwise I can not. I'm afraid to renew old acquaintances due to the fact that someone can make me feel bad asking what was going on, etc. and I do not like it, then quickly get nervous and do not know what to answer, tell more than a year of its life is not so easy, especially with such extreme transitions. Sometimes I miss my friends, but on the other hand .. Well I could not communicate with them, I did not understand their views on life, party-style of life, ill-considered decisions, constant backbiting people .. Always, during these meetings I had the impression that I'm too mature for such a conversation that I was not amused.
But I think he will risk and do the first step towards these people, in the end we share memories. Only if it is not enough .. I have to even think about it.
might not be is the best post, but I can not sleep is almost 2:00 in the morning and I had to externalize their feelings.
, sex and life ..
I decided to write something today. Long time did before, I had no inspiration besides work, work work again ..
Recently a lot of thinking about themselves and their desires, I never thought that living with someone is so difficult and yet so very rewarding. Sometimes it is hard to get along with the other half luck, but there is nothing that brings relief and happiness as his smile or a warm word. The most I like how after a long day we come close to me in my little world and in ourselves wtuleni niczym.Uwielbiam talking about when he was a very important and serious things go in their talks to more mundane matters, because I know what it oznacza.Długi, slow full sensitivity of sex .. No one like Paul can not arouse such emotions in me related to this elevation.
once burnt to sex like today. I liked it, yes, but not like teraz.Zawsze needed a lot of attention in bed, I wanted to feel appreciated, beautiful, wonderful, and what I was receiving .. eh damage even remember. Now I have days when I could not leave the bed, of course, only with him.
I like how Paul is with me at night at weekends, then we always try to make up for time we have not had for myself in the morning. We know that this is not impossible but it is always the same, we all talk at once, get stupid, we argue, love, and again we fight just to get right again, to reconcile and combine in a wonderful dance of our bodies. Mornings are always fun too, though I'm mostly still little sleepy because I Paul, so often when he was already asleep at night I wake up and check whether you really with me is, and I look at him until he fall asleep, then wake up again, and so on. Sometimes it is so that he wakes up, draws me to him, cradled tight and I know what she wants .. When we wake up in the morning always immediately want to run to the bathroom and do with each order, take a shower to arrange her hair, but Paul usually does not allow me to do it, always says that I look so beautiful and loves me, which is amazing for me and I can not understand, but he always just smiles, kisses me and says and so that he loves me and is in bed.
not be able to live with someone else, we've been together a long time, which does not admit it surprises me sometimes, but do not get bored with myself, I usually have one thousand ideas a minute and I would imagine all the time, but Paul stops me and vice versa. Sometimes I just wonder what would happen if I did not recognize him, but I can not imagine such a life. He is my refuge, the port and there is no person in the world that She could replace him.